I'm Sorry.

OK.
Lately, I've been thinking about my grandmother. This is because my grandfather has Alzheimer's and recently went into a home. He doesn't know who he is or who anyone else is. He was married to her before she divorced him and then married the biggest douchelord this world has ever seen who has since died and taken his asshole-ish ways with him. She died in 2003. I was quite young. I didn't fully understand what was going on. She had Parkinson's. I had just come to accept her shaking as her. As a personality trait or something. I'm not quite sure. You see, I have a terrible memory and how I felt back then has been slightly forgotten.
I think nowadays that I didn't fully appreciate her while she was alive and that is one of the things that I wish I could go back and undo. I try not to regret too much in my life because that isn't healthy and everyone makes mistakes but I really wish I could show her that I loved her so much and appreciated everything she did for me. If she were alive, I would hope that she would be proud of me because I am so proud of her.
So for all of you people out there who have family and friends and do not treat them they way that they should be treated and deserve to be treated, change your ways because you will feel ashamed of yourself eventually when you can no longer treat them in any way, as I do. I realize now that no one lives forever. Our lives are short and are only what we make of them. The same goes for the person next to you or the driver of the bus you took this morning or your mailman. So make yours special and treat everyone else like they are special too because they are. There will come a day when they are no longer with us and then there will be nothing you can do about it.
I miss you grandma and I hope I can be someone you are proud of. I'm sorry.
It Could Be Better