Fading off into Dreamland... Unfortunately.

OK.
I am aware that everyone has dreams (subconscious ones), whether they be day or night dreams, but I feel like mine are just too weird. I don't understand why I have dreams like the ones I have but I do and have learned to laugh them off. I remind myself that my mind has come up with these scenarios so the makings of them must be somewhere in that brain of mine and that fact makes me a little nervous to be completely honest...
The earliest dream I remember having probably takes the cake for the weirdest. I am assuming that I have remembered it because of this but who really knows. Basically, there is a giant snail (think Gary from SpongeBob SquarePants) who wanders into a French café (I know, my young mind was advanced enough to come up with that fact. Bow down to me peasants) and sits itself under one of the tables. The table has a whole in the middle to put an umbrella but is empty at the moment. The waitress then comes over and pours salt down the whole and kills the snail slowly. The customers all laugh at this and jump up onto the tabletop. They then proceed to dance around like Native Americans with suddenly appearing headdresses.
Uh... I know.
During my recent years they have been relatively normal (compared to that at least) but with a few strange subjects, like an elephant who runs a marathon or a giant made up of spoons and forks (not knives, don't be silly) who roams the populated hills of Wellington safely. This one could have been inspired by The Iron Giant...

I am also never in my dreams. Like seriously, never.
I don't have one remembered dream with me in it. Maybe I am the snail/elephant/giant? I don't really know. I'm no psychologist. There have been humans in my dreams. Quite regularly actually. People I know too, just not me. Ever.
I also dream in black and white. Some selected things are colorful like the snails shell or elephants sweatband or giants eyes.
Lately, I've been having dangerous dreams though, like a volcano is about to erupt and the people must get to higher ground and are running around like ants trying to survive or there is a gunman strutting around the streets but never shoots anyone... He does have quite an interesting walk though. A bit of swag mixed with a huge ego.
Anyway, this is what I look foreword to every night. Don't you just wish you were me so bad?
It Could Be Better